We all want to help our students as much as we can, but I'm sure a question all of us have struggle with some is how to balance helping our students and keeping ourselves healthy as well. For example, I think about a family my mom became involved with when I was in elementary school. I'm still not sure whether or not she was too involved. The family did definitely need help.
Mayra , a girl in the 3rd grade, was the second of four children. The family had recently immigrated from Mexico. Their mother worked three jobs to support them, which meant that she was rarely able to be home with her children. The children did stay with the mother's live-in boyfriend while the mothe worked, but he was a dead beat and later was accused of abusing Mayra. Mayra's older brother had severe epilepsy and his medicine was pretty expensive. Their trailer home was unclean and the children had few clothes. Since her older brother was mentally incapable of taking care of the family, Mayra, only 9 years old, took care of all her siblings.
My mom tried to help them. She worked with them extensively to improve their English, had them over to our home a few times as an outing. Later, Mayra's mother began calling on my mom more and more for help. My mom babysat a few times, paid for the older boy's epilepsy medicine once, went to their home in the evenings on occasion if the children were frightened alone, etc. It began to take a toll on her emotionally. She feared also that she wasn't being available enough to her own family. My mom really struggled with that question and still, looking back, wonders whether she got too involved in Mayra's family. I know that we will all run into situations like this in teaching, ones where we want to give everything to help the students.
Thus, my question to you is: How do we find the balance? I have been trying to figure it out, but I still don't know and it worries me.
ED460 Personal and Social Well Being is a course taken by college students in education during their student teaching semester. Topics covered include: poverty, child abuse, bullying, drugs, alcohol, and tobacco, counselors' role in school, adolescents and choices, and the use of technology.
Wow, Vicki, your mom really put herself out there to try and assist Mayra's family. Babysitting, working to improve their English skills and even offering to help attain the medicine Mayra's older brother needed must have greatly impacted Mayra's mother as she sought to provide for her children financially. I am not surprised that this would eventually take a toll on your mother despite her kind intentions, however.
ReplyDeleteYour question about balance brings me back to the counselor's panel today. I think it was Professor Bennett who mentioned the need to leave your school problems at school. Ms. Becky, the AMS counselor, suggested creating a checklist to leave on her desk and continue the next day. Although this may not apply directly in the same way to your mom's situation, it could work as a good strategy to avoid over-stressing about student or classroom issues as a teacher. Balance is something we are probably always going to be seeking to maintain, whether it be getting the proper amount of sleep or social time with friends to following through with our professional duties. I believe that issuing ourselves breaks outside of school hours to take care of important yet often overlooked parts of daily life such as relaxation and recreation will help keep us sane and give us more energy for when we are on the job. Teachers may seem to emit superpowers, but that doesn't mean they were born superheroes.
Like any other job, I think it is important to leave work at work. When looking at things in our lives we need to prioritize the different groups we belong to. We need to decide which facet requires more time and effort. We also need to remember however, that no matter what we become involved in it is only worth the time and effort if we can actually contribute.
ReplyDeletePersonally, once I start teaching I will have a job, I will have a family, and I will have social activities (for the sake of simplicity). When looking at these three aspects of life I believe that no matter what family comes first. The physical, emotional, and time needs of family members will come first. Second priority will be given to work...I signed a contract after all, I will therefore need to fulfill it. Third comes the social activities - these will fit when there is time.
This does not mean that family will receive 80% of my attention and energy, teaching 15%, and a social life 5%. No, instead all aspects will ideally receive 100% of my attention and energy at the time I am engaged in a particular activity.
I do hope to be in a position in the future where I can help a student the way your mother did - corporal works of mercy!